My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
