Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
