It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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