I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
