If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
