covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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