so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
