i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.