He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.