I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I wish you could order shots online.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
