well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
