If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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