Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
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is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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