....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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