you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
