You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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