I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Someone shit on the floor
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
