Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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