What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
