I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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