Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
