seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
