I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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