I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
