true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize