She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
