omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
false alarm. still invincible.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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