I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
