Cold hands, warm shart.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
