just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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