So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
