Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize