well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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