Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
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I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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