I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize