in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
