no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
