a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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