He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
