He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
