I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it