I skipped work to stalk him.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
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You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool