my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.