dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Who wears a wallet chain?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito