so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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