end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
