idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
