This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
