we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
