I CAN MOONWALK!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize