I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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