Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
