I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.