I'm an idiot
I hate all girls vehemently.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?