I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza