Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?