You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?