You made me cry and you don't even care
the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups