Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
