is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
