Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
