Kiss
Puke
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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