Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
