do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How does one acquire holy water?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
