This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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