thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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