Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
