I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
