Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
