Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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