I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
